


"friends don't kiss me like you do,"

by zacefronspants



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 23:30:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15896346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: keith made sure the second he agreed to fuck lance that he couldn't have him.orkeith loves lance and will take him anyway he can





	"friends don't kiss me like you do,"

**Author's Note:**

> please be gentle ive never written for voltron so i apologize if this is bad

**01.**

They have an arrangement where Keith gets to touch and kiss Lance all he wants too and Lance gets to curve his appetite for touch. But when he's alone, after he's fucked his own fist thinking about the way Lane looks with tears in his eyes and, “Please, fuck me,” on his lips, he has to think on if it was worth it; if getting to feel Lance leave soft kisses on his neck, was worth it. He decides that it is.

He gets everything he wanted. He gets to lick and suck Stiles’ neck and leave tiny bruises on his collarbones. It isn’t nearly enough to kiss and commit everything about Lance to memory, but it’s his only chance.  
  
He talks to him, when they’re curled around each other and the only light is through the window. And he wonders if this is the only chance he’ll have to hear Lance hum in his ear and recited his favorite sonnets to him.

Shiro tells him he has to make a choice one night when Keith's so fucking drunk that he's been on the phone with Shiro for over an hour crying about how much he hates his and Lance’s arrangement.

Choosing between sanity and Lance is easy; he’d rather spend everyday with Lance than not seeing him. Not because he’s not sure what he wants, but because seeing him is so much better than not seeing him. But he’s a glutton for punishment and has to see him anyways. So he picks Lance. Everyone he knows isn't surprised, but Lance is.  
  
He sees the end before Lance does, and he guesses he shouldn’t have deluded himself into thinking that they could have made this work. He sees it and it doesn’t stop him from wishing for it to last a bit longer.

**02.**

It happens on accident (on purpose because Lance was being a mouthy shit) Keith pushing Lance against the door and leaning in close enough he can smell the coffee on Lance’s mouth. Keith isn’t sure who moved first, but he can’t be bothered when Lance is licking into his mouth and taking everything he can from Keith, gnashing their teeth together and knocking their noses in desperate attempts to taste the other and briefly, Keith notes that he can taste sugar on Lance’s tongue. There’s fingers in his hair and it all feels too much like fantasies he keeps in a box that he only opens when he’s had to much too drink and can’t stop the longing in his chest. But then, Lance is gasping and moaning into his open mouth and Keith wants to keep those noises forever, so he grinds his hips against Lance’s and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Keith shouldn’t to do it again, but he tastes so good, so he kisses him. Lance makes a noise, a little, surprised “oh,” as his their lips meet. And he's pulling him in, asking for more. He gives it to him, trying to tell him everything, everything, with his lips and his hands, but he knows it won't work because it's not something he wants to hear.

When they break apart, he’s a little disheveled and he looks like a piece of art this way. He’s always art, but he loves seeing him with swollen lips and knowing he’d done that. Just for an instance, he looks like a piece of art the way he made him. His eyes are big and wider than usual and he can see the surprise creeping back into them. And Keith's tired of walking away because he knows it's no use. He's tired of this whole goddamn thing. So he doesn't fight it, he pulls him to him and he kisses him. He kisses him with everything in him, with all the longing he's done and all the misery at knowing he can't have him. When he breaks away Lance's left gasping.

Keith slots their mouths together and licks at Lance’s tongue, savoring the harsh tang of sugar and coffee before pulling away from him. Lance is panting heavily when he says, “Knew you couldn't resist me,” and just like that the moments broken and Keith presses one more lingering kiss to his mouth before leaving Lance against the wall.

**03.**

“I wanna stop this thing we have.” Lance says, like he's talking to some kind of frightened animal.

Keith couldn't help himself. He laughs. He starts laughing and he can’t stop. It’s not funny. It’s so far from funny that his chest feels like it’s on fire, but if he doesn’t laugh now, he’s going to cry. He laughs because he made sure he couldn’t have Lance fucking McClain when he agreed to fuck him senseless with no strings attached and he didn’t even know it. He’d spent months trying to make sure he couldn’t have him, turns out he took care of it when he agreed to this entire thing.  
  
Lances’ face twists into anger and hurt. “What’s so funny?” he snaps. He thinks he’s laughing at him and he’s not, he’s laughing at his own miserable fucked up life.  
  
“I don’t know why I tell you things, Keith.” Lance is close to punching him and he hates it when he’s angry because of him, but he can’t tell him, so he just stares at him. “Sometimes you’re just such an ass.”  
  
“I know,” it’s true, even if he hadn’t meant to be, then.  
  
“Why are you such a dick to me?” He doesn't wait for an answer. “And then you're sweet and I don't understand it. What did I ever do to you?”  
  
“Nothing.” It’s a half truth. He wants to say, he wants to say that he never did anything except rip his heart out and carry it around without even knowing it. He wants to tell him that he did nothing except make him hope that he could be better, different and he didn’t even mean too.  
  
“Then why?” His jaw is tight and his eyes watch him clench and unclench his fists. He doesn’t have an answer, not one he can tell him.  
  
He doesn't mean to do it, he never ever meant to do it, but he's good at making mistakes, so he kisses him. He makes a noise, a little, surprised “oh” as his lips meet his. And he's just like he remembered, and even better. And he's pulling him in, asking for more. He gives it to him, trying to tell him everything, everything, with his lips and his hands, but he knows it won't work because it's not something he wants to hear.  
  
When they break apart, he’s a little disheveled and he looks positively fucking radiant. Lance’s eyes are big and wider than usual and he can see the anger creeping back into them.  
  
“Is that your solution, to kiss me?” He asks angrily, all acidic again. He knows he’s angry because his accent is slipping through, and he just let him kiss him, encouraged it.  
  
“Yeah, I guess it is,” He stands up because he has to get out of here. He can’t stay an instant longer or he might do something really dumb, dumber than what he’s already done.  
  
“You didn’t even!” He calls out after him as he makes his way to the front of the café. He lets out a bark of mirthless laughter, heavy and sad. Because he had answered the question, he just didn’t understand. He’d answered his question with his lips and with his heart screaming he loves him, always loved him, he will always love him, and he will never be his. That’s why he’s an ass to him.

**04.**

He gets a job. He starts to save. In the evening he sneaks into his the stupid café he knows Lance works at. He goes every night. He doesn't tell him. He doesn't say anything at all. It continues until he catches him.  
  
“Keith?” A hand on his arm. It could only be him. He'd just slipped outside the cafe. He turns slowly to him.  
  
“Busy tonight, innit Lance,” he tells him, because really, fuck, what else is there to say?  
  
“What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in weeks,” He's looking at him with confused bright blue eyes. God, he's so beautiful.  
  
He shrugs. “Been keeping to myself mostly,” He can't tell him the truth. It will sound crazy.  
  
His face is crinkled in confusion. “Was that you, the other night, then?” So he had seen him, then. He'd thought so. He shrugs again.  
  
“Why didn't you say anything to me? What are you doing here?”  
  
“Uh,” he scuffs his shoe on the ground. “I kind of wanted to see you,” he admits.  
  
“You what?!” His voice goes up a couple of pitches when he's upset. “You disappeared!”  
  
Keith looks at his shoes. “I didn't want to bother you,” he says slowly.  
  
“Bother me?” he's looking at him like he's gone absolutely insane. “We're friends , you're supposed to tell your friends stuff like this!”  
  
He doesn't want to be friends with him. He wants so much more than that. “Sorry.”  
  
“Sorry?” He can tell he's trying to figure him out. If he refuses to see what he thinks should have been obvious for years, he's never going to do it. “Lance, what's going on?”  
  
And he's tired of fighting it. He's tired of walking away because he knows it's no use. He's tired of this whole Goddamn thing. So he doesn't fight it. He pulls him to him and he kisses him. He kisses him with everything in him, with all the pain he's felt over the last year and all the longing he's done and all the misery at knowing he can't have him. When he breaks away he's left gasping.  
  
“It's about that, okay? It's always been about that.” He shakes his head, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “Because it's always been you and you never saw it. Because I couldn't tell you because I wanted you to have the world and I could never ever give you that. I've always known I didn't fit in your life the way I wanted too.” And he turns on his heel and walks away, because rejecting himself is easier than hearing it from him.  
  
**05** **.**

Three days later, he texts him an address and a time. He goes, because, who is he kidding, he's always going to go where he wants him. It's a bar, which surprises him. He doesn't think of Lance as the bar type. Then again, he may have changed a lot since he'd last seen him. He wouldn't know. He hasn't been around.  
  
He finds him inside, sipping a drink and eyeing the dance floor. He smiles softly when he sees him and it's a new look for him. He doesn't know if he wants to know why he's called him here. Everything is different now. He's so used to pretending around him.  
  
He holds a hand out to him and he takes it, him leading him to the dance floor. He hasn't danced in ages, but it's a slow song and he twines his arms around his neck and presses himself close. He forgets to breathe for a few moments. He wants to remember everything about this, because half of him is sure he's going to wake up any second.  
  
They stay like that for a long time and he never, ever wants to let him go. He doesn't know what will happen when this moment ends. Keith Kogane never saw himself ending up here. And there's always going to be someone else, isn't there?  
  
And after what seems like both seconds and hours at the same time, he stands on tiptoe to whisper in his ear.  
  
“Take me home.” He thinks his heart stops, but this all seems too good to be true. After years of telling himself he can't have Lance McClain, it simply can't be this easy.  
  
“I'm not sure that's a good idea,” he murmurs back.  
  
“Why not?”

“I don't fit into your life.” He knows it sounds bitter the instant it comes out.  
  
He smiles at him. “That’s never been true.” And he lets that sink in for a moment. It does and he can feel the hope swelling in his chest. It's terrifying.  
  
“Take me home,” he says again. And this time, he does.

**06.**

Keith takes Lance apart, opening him up so slowly he can feel the sweat trickling down the side of his face every time he feels Lance fuck himself on his fingers each time he twists and curls them inside him. Keith leans in from where’s he’s been sitting beside Lance and whispers softly, running his fingers across his neck, “You’re doing so good, bug. You look so good like this; splayed out and open. Such a good boy,” and Lance leans into Keith’s wandering fingers, his own thumb rubbing slow circles against his cockhead. Keith knows Lance wants to cum, can feel it every time he clenches around Keith’s fingers, like he’s trying to control himself. Keith whispers out, “Slower, sweet one. I want to actually fuck you tonight.”

Lance sobs out a soft, “Please, I’ve been good. I’ve been so good,” and Keith can smell the woodsy scent of Lance when he leans in and pinches his nipple, pulling and twisting. His legs are burning and he feels open and loose when Keith slips two more of fingers inside him, stuttering out, “Please Keith,” when he grinds down against their fingers.

“Okay, bug. Come here,” Keith says pulling his fingers out of his ass and kissing his forehead. “You did so well.”

Keith lets Lance pull him up into a sitting position, pulling him until he’s flat on his stomach. Keith presses soft kisses to the back of Lance's neck and fucks into him slowly. He fucks Lance until he cries and cums all over himself and begs Keith to fuck him harder.

So he does.

**+1.**

Keith knows two things with absolute certainty. The first, is that he is and has always been hopelessly in love with Lance. The second, is that he's never, ever letting him go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free for send me a message on tumblr @togxpi also sorry that the ending was so rushed


End file.
